so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Randomize