Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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