But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Naked. naked and bneed help.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize