Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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