it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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