Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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