I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
