I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
