Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
