Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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