Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
