"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
