Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
