Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
