I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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