I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
