I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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