Christians are straight up FREAKS
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
