it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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