Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
