I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
