i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You need Xanax blowdarts
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
