He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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