that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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