Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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