ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
