Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
