I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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