You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
