My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
