I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
