btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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