The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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