Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
