sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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