So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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