...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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