Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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