You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
