The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize