Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
