I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
