I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
