Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
