Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Too much gin, very little bucket
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
