i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
