I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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