I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
