So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize