I feel like abortions should bother me more
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
