this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
