and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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