my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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