i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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