So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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