Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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