My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Watching her eat just hurts me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
