what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
