There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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