What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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