Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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