Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
