i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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