I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
