Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
