...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
