finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
