i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
