when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
